Dos and Don’ts of Social Storytelling

by Meredith Maslich

Do think your story through before you start as much as possible.  Just do a mental check to make sure it has at least some of the basic elements of a story, and that it goes somewhere.  

Do make sure it’s the right time to tell your story. Think about how to introduce it, make sure there are no obvious interruptions coming (waiter coming to take your order, bride and groom walking down the aisle. That sort of thing)

Do make sure that your story is of interest and appropriate for the setting. Don’t tell a story that only physicists can appreciate in a room full of botanists; don’t tell a story filled with sex and swearing at your grandfather’s 80^th birthday party. Unless you’re lucky enough to have the kind of family that enjoys that kind of story, in which case, rock on.

Do expect interruptions. Social stories are by nature more interactive than performance stories. The social contract with the listeners is that they are part of the story. They can (and generally will) ask questions, make comments, laugh too loud or at unexpected places, and otherwise disrupt your story, intentionally or not. Don’t let it throw you, and in fact, the more you can work it into your story, the better.

Do try to recognize if your audience isn’t engaged and cut it short. Don’t prolong the experience on principal. Just get out, regroup, and try again later.

Don’t use social storytelling as therapy. This goes for performance storytelling as well. Therapy happens with therapists. Or BFF’s. But definitely not at parties and not on stage.

Don’t try to impress. Don’t try to tell a story that highlights how amazing you are to impress potential love interests, potential employers, new co-workers, or just those cool kids you want to hang out with. No one likes a braggart, and stories told for this purpose are never well received. Never.

Don’t steamroll over interruptions or distractions. Don’t ignore questions, don’t keep talking when the waiter comes to take your order, and don’t put your hand on the arm of someone whose attention has been distracted from your story in attempt to hold them captive.  It makes you seem needy, and frankly, if your story is interesting enough you’ll hold their attention through interruptions and against distractions.

Don’t be afraid to try. People are very forgiving of weak social stories. Unless you are that guy who endlessly tells boring, weird or confusing social stories. But if you’re reading this blog, you aren’t that guy (or will stop being that guy). You have the basic tools to tell a good social story, and the only way to get better is to use them. Like learning to play badminton, you can only spend so much time discussing theories of shuttlecock trajectory. At some point you have to pick up a racket and give it a whack.

So go give it a whack and let me know how it goes – good, bad, or ugly.